wakey wakey hands off snakey
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
