glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
