remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
