We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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