What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
