all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
