Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
