I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
