New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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