Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
