I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
