Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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