I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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