I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
