he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
