dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
