I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
