Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
