You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
People in love make me want to vomit
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
