Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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