No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
