I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
either way he was missing a nipple.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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