so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
