anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
