My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
