she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
