I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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