I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
lets start a swedish sibling band together
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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