2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
