Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
