how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
