Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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