I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
