she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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