so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
