Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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