I accidentally had phone sex last night
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
