I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
