how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
