you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
