Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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