maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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