It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
