I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
