my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
