I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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