Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
