oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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