found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
