I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
