Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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