Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just high enough for therapy.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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